What The Bible Says About Divorce

(Text: Matthew 19:1-15)
By: Barry L. Cameron


* Some people today seem to be married for better or for worse, but not for long.
- The number one problem with the family in America is divorce.
- Every year in America there are approximately 1 million divorces.
- 1.8 million marriages. 1 million divorces each year in America.

* Under this pile of statistics lie the crushed lives of millions of people who’ve experienced the horrors and the aftermath of this terrible plague of divorce.
- Many people have taken the Soap Operas instead of the Scriptures as their guide for marriage.

* What I’m going to do today is to bring a message that will be preventive in nature.
- I don’t do marriage counseling. We have a multitude of excellent Christian counselors here in the metroplex and we can’t compete with their resources, their staff or their experience.
- My counseling on marriage is done from this pulpit and is preventive in nature.
- What I try to do is show you what God says in the Bible about the subject and prevent the problem of divorce from ever occurring.

* So, if you’re divorced today, this message is really not directed at you. This message is directed to those who may be thinking about divorce or are on the verge of divorce.

- Malachi 2:16. God says, “I hate divorce.” God hates divorce, but loves divorcees.
- God hates anything that hurts people.
- Those who’ve been divorced and are trying to live for God will tell you, “Amen. Lord. I hate divorce too! We hate what divorce does to people. We hate the problems that are caused by divorce.”

(1) THE ORIGINAL PATTERN (Matthew 19:1-6)
- The Pharisees weren’t looking for information, they wanted a confrontation.
- They raise a controversial question: “What are the valid grounds for divorce?”

Two viewpoints: (Rabbis)
1. Shammai: only one ground for divorce (marital infidelity)
2. Hillel: almost any reason.
* She talked too loud, burned his biscuits, if he saw a prettier woman.

* Jesus takes them back to the original pattern in the Word of God (vs. 4)

* The Bible is the final authority on everything.
- It’s not human opinion, the standards of the day or the ideas of contemporary theologians--it is what does the Bible have to say about it?

ILL. Woman went to the doctor and the doctor told her: “You’re problem is, you’re obese.”
- The woman said, “Well, I want a second opinion.” He said, “You’re ugly, too!”

* There is no second opinion when it comes to the Word of God.
- When God speaks on a matter, that becomes THE FINAL AUTHORITY.

* So, Jesus takes them back to GENESIS.
(a) How Couples Are Made (vs. 4)
* There’s no evolution here.
* God made a first man and a first woman. He made couples: male and female.
* They are different physically, biologically, emotionally and almost in every way.
- The Lord’s pattern for marriage was one man for one woman.

* There’s no such thing as homosexual marriage. God’s standard is for males to marry females.
- Genesis 2 tells us God created the first couple: Adam & Eve. Not Adam & Steve.
- God created the original pattern for couples: a male and a female.

(b) How Couples Are Married (vs. 5)
* There’s a leaving and a cleaving.
* There are two primary relationships:
1. The Parent/Child Relationship - which is temporary.
* Lasts only a few years. They leave their father and mother.

ILL. Cutting the apron strings. If you don’t cut them, you’ll be tied up in knots your whole life.

2. The Husband/Wife Relationship - which is eternal. (Permanent)
* “Be united” (vs. 5) “cleave” in the KJV. The root meaning is glue!
- He’s saying, “You’re stuck with each other!”

(c) How Couples Are Merged (vs. 5b-6)
* God has different math than we do.
* We say, “1 + 1 = 2.” God says, “1+ 1 = 1.” There’s a joining together.

* You become ONE physically, spiritually, emotionally, almost in every way.
- It takes a lifetime for this to happen.
* Usually, opposites marry. God completes both of you.
* You won’t change your mate. You can only talk to the change-maker.

Verse 6. We won’t understand the seriousness of divorce until we, first of all, understand the sacredness of marriage.
- God brings couples together. We should wait on His guidance and direction.

Verse 6b. “Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
- No one is to tear apart what God has brought together.
- God has a warning for people who attempt to do anything to destroy a marriage or a family.

* A lot of people are quick to encourage others to get a divorce. Watch out!
- Be careful where you get your advice. The Bible warns against the counsel of the ungodly.

THE ORIGINAL PATTERN...
(2) THE CONTINUAL PROBLEM (Matthew 19:7-9)
- It was a problem in Jesus’ day. It was a problem in Moses’ day. It’s a problem today!
- They wanted to know why Moses commanded that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away (vs. 7). Referring to Deut. 24. “Grounds for divorce.”
* God’s ideal is one man for one woman for one lifetime.

ILL. Single woman. Pastor had preached on message. She came up after the service.
- “That’s God’s plan and you can’t improve on it.”
* Now, Jesus deals with the actual, not the ideal.
- Verse 8. Moses permitted divorce, although it was never God’s ideal.
* Moses didn’t command it, he permitted it.

* There had to be some semblance of order to divorce. (We have laws today, too!)

(a) It’s A Spiritual Problem (vs. 8)
* The problem was the hardness of men’s hearts. (Word: “sclerosis”)
* Whenever there’s a divorce, someone, or both one’s, had a hardened heart.
- Marriage will expose the selfishness and sinfulness of men’s hearts.

(b) It’s A Moral Problem (vs. 9)
* Sexual immorality is grounds for divorce. The context is sex outside of marriage.
* Jesus doesn’t command divorce, but he permits it for the grounds of infidelity.
- It’s not the first option. It’s the final option.
- Get God’s forgiveness. Explore every avenue of reconciliation.

THE ORIGINAL PATTERN, THE CONTINUAL PROBLEM...
(3) THE INDIVIDUAL PRINCIPLE (Matthew 19:10-12)
- He has given the “ideal” and shown us the “real.”

Verse 10. The disciples said, “Lord, it’d be better for people not to get married.”

Verse 11. The circumstances of divorce are so complicated, you can’t get a “one-size-fits-all” answer.
- Every situation is unique.

Verse 12. Jesus mentions the only three categories where there can be successful singleness.
1. Some were born that way. (Without any sexual capacity.)
2. Some were made that way by men. (Pagan ritual, act of loyalty.)
3. Some were eunuchs for the kingdom of Heaven. (Not physical but voluntary celibacy.)

Verse 12b. “The one who can accept this should accept this.”

(4) THE SPECIAL PEOPLE (Matthew 19:13-14)
- I don’t think it’s an accident that Jesus brings up the little children.
- Little children are the innocent by-products of your marriage.
- They are the beneficiaries of your choices.

* It’s your children who suffer when you turn your home into a Hell on earth.
- Think about the children.

* You ought to be willing to wade through Hell, if necessary, for your children.

Verse 14. “Don’t hinder them.”
- You better not cause your little children to stumble.

* Whatever price you have to pay, whatever sacrifices you have to make will be worth it.

* If you’re thinking about divorce today, let me encourage you: “Don’t do it!”

- Sit down and talk it over again. Make one more attempt.

* Divorce is a war where nobody wins and everyone’s a casualty.
- You, your spouse, your children, your extended family, your friends, your neighbors, the people you work with, the people at church, and on and on.

* It’s not just a private decision between two consenting adults.

* These young people today, who file for divorce…
- “How long have you been married?” “Six months!”

* Work it out! Think about what God says. Think about your children!

If You’ve Been Divorced…3 Things You ought to seek:
1. Divine Forgiveness. (Let God forgive you.)
2. Personal Analysis. (Don’t carry the baggage into the future.)
3. Spiritual Oasis. (You need a church home.)