What The Bible Says About Gossip

(Text: Text: Ephesians 4:29)
By: Barry L. Cameron


GOSSIP—THE HISTORY OF A LIE
First, someone told it,
Then the room could not hold it,
So busy tongues rolled it,
’Til they got it outside.

Then the crowd came across it,
They stretched it and tossed it,
And never once lost it,
’Til it grew long and wide.

This lie brought forth others,
Evil sisters and brothers,
And fathers and mothers,
A terrible crew.

As headlong they hurried,
The people they flurried,
And troubled and worried,
As lies always do.

So evil it boded,
This monstrous lie goaded,
’Til at last it exploded,
In sin and in shame.

From the mud and the mire,
The pieces flew higher,
’Til they hit the sad liar,
And killed his good name.

ILL. On Thursday night, November 2nd, 2000, Fox News broke the story that George W. Bush had been arrested, 24 years ago, for drunk driving. The source of the story? Tom Connolly, a Portland, Maine attorney, who is a Democratic activist and was a delegate to the Democratic National Convention this year.

How did the story get out? Gossip.

A police officer overheard Mr. Connolly and a judge talking about it and she passed the story on to a reporter who broke the story. Mr. Connolly just happened to already have a copy of the court docket in his office and gave it to the reporter. He said, “It’s not a dirty trick to tell the truth.” Connolly unsuccessfully ran for governor two years ago. (Source: USA TODAY)

Quote: Several years ago, United Technologies placed the following article in newspapers across the country, for no other reason than to make people take a second look at gossip.

“REMEMBER ME?”
My name is Gossip. I have no respect for Justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I am nobody’s friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never quite the same. I topple governments and wreck marriages. I ruin careers, cause sleepless nights, heartache and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry in their pillows. Even my name hisses. I am called Gossip. Office gossip. Shop gossip. Neighborhood gossip. Church gossip. I make headlines and headaches. Before you repeat a story, ask yourself, ‘Is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary?’ If not--SHUT UP”

Ephesians 4:29. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

- Much of what is said every day is not helpful, does not build others up and doesn’t benefit anyone.

Proverbs 6:16-19. There are 7 things God hates and 3 of them have to do with the tongue.
1. A lying tongue
2. A false witness who pours out lies
3. A man who stirs up dissension among brothers

* The tongue is the #1 enemy of Christian unity and a huge hindrance to your spiritual growth.

- There’s an entire chapter (James 3) devoted to taming the tongue.
- James 3:8 says, “no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison.”

Proverbs 26:17-28. What a passage on the tongue and gossip!

Proverbs 18:8. Ever hear the phrase, “juicy gossip”? There’s something tantalizing about gossip.

Seven Realities About Gossips.
1. They are usually people who talk too much and to too many people (Proverbs 10:19)
2. They break confidences and divulge secrets (Proverbs 11:13)
3. They shatter friendships and relationships (Proverbs 16:27-28)
4. They bring trouble to churches (I Timothy 5:13)
5. They ignite quarrels and stir up strife (Proverbs 26:20-21)
6. They burn themselves, others and leave carnage wherever they go (James 3:5-6)
7. They are malicious in their intent (II Timothy 3:3) Also slanderous.

Definition: Gossip is communicating with malicious intent.

- It’s not gossip to talk to someone about the Mavericks moving into a new arena next fall.
- It’s not gossip to talk about how much money Mark Cuban made when he sold his company.
- But, when you add malicious intent and your desire is to hurt him or harm him in the eyes of others
or to elevate yourself by tearing him down, that’s gossip.

Quote: John MacArthur,
“Gossip is often thought of as being relatively harmless, but at best it is unkind, harmful and ungodly. Malicious gossip is a sin of an even more evil and destructive sort. Whereas the irreconcilable person tends to disregard and neglect others, malicious gossips make a point of harming others. Whether to promote their own interests, to express jealousy or hatred, or simply to vent their anger, they take pleasure in damaging reputations and destroying lives.

“Malicious gossips translates diabolos, which, even to the person unacquainted with Greek, suggests the severity of this evil, with our English derivative ‘diabolical.’ Diabolos means “accuser” and is used thirty-four times in the New Testament as a title for Satan. Engulfed and blinded by self-love, malicious gossips do the very work of Satan.”

Quote: Someone said, “It’s easy to make a mountain out of a molehill. Just add a little more dirt.”

Quote: Admiral Hyman Rickover (U.S. Navy)
“Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.”

Characteristics of a gossip: (Why do people gossip?)
1. They are out of fellowship with the Lord.
2. They have an agenda based on their own personal adversity.
- In other words, they aren’t happy with themselves, so they aren’t happy with anyone else.
- “Hurting people, hurt people.”

Their unhappiness usually comes from one or more of the following areas:
a. Physical: overweight or some kind of physical sickness or infirmity.
b. Financial: stress due to money problems, dead-end job, no progress being made.
c. Marital: not happy at home.
d. Emotional: not happy with anything

3. They are jealous and so they lash out at others.
4. They are intimidated by godly people. So, they try to make them appear less godly by malicious criticism and gossip.
5. They are harboring a grudge and it’s grown into full-scale bitterness.
6. They feel that no one cares what they say so they have to have some hot news to appear important.
7. They’ve never been taught that gossip is wrong.

James 1:26. If you don’t keep a tight rein on your tongue, your religion is worthless.

Galatians 5:15. Gossips will destroy themselves and everyone around them unless they are stopped.

ILL. The pastor gave a stirring message on the evils of gossip. Unfortunately, the music was not coordinated in advance. The closing song was, “I love to tell the story.”

Quote: Chuck Swindoll (Hope Again)
“Show me a person who has learned to refrain from gossip, to refrain from passing on confidential information, to refrain from making an unverified comment, and I’ll show you somebody who is well on his or her way to maturity.”

- Leaders are especially susceptible to unfounded rumors and gossip.

Quote: John MacArthur, “There are always people eager to falsely accuse a man of God. They may do so because they resent his calling, reject his teaching, resist biblical authority, resent virtue, or are jealous of the Lord’s blessing on his life. Ultimately, however, they demonstrate by making such accusations that they have become messengers of Satan. Such false accusations are one of his most dangerous weapons. Joseph, Moses, David, Jeremiah, Nehemiah and our Lord Jesus all suffered from false accusations. So did Paul, and he particularly addressed that issue in his second letter to the Corinthians.

“It is a sacred trust to be in the ministry. That trust is based upon a man’s integrity, credibility, and the consistent purity of his life. If he can be successfully attacked at that point and discredited, his ministry will be destroyed. It is imperative that his people be able to distinguish gossip and lies from reality.”

How Do You Handle A Gossip?

1. Christian Courtesy (II Timothy 2:24-26)
* Don’t let someone use your EARS for TRASH CANS.
* Teach them what’s right.

2. Compassionate Confrontation (Matthew 18:15-17)
* “Why don’t we get on our knees and you lead us in prayer for _______________.”

3. Courageous Cut-off (Romans 16:17, “Mark those who cause division.”)
Titus 3:10, “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.”

Before you share anything…
1. Is it necessary to share this?
2. Is this confidential information that could possibly hurt someone if I shared it?
3. Will this help build up the body of Christ if I pass this on?
4. Will this bless and benefit the person who hears me?
5. Does this person need to know this?
6. By sharing this will I help solve the problem or contribute to the problem?

* If you’re not talking to the PROBLEM and confronting them to do what’s right…or if you’re not talking to someone who is part of the SOLUTION…what are you doing talking to this person?

7. If what I’m about to say was printed word for word in the city newspaper, would I want my name attached to it and my friends and family to read it?
8. Would Jesus prefer I’d just keep my mouth shut?

How To Get Free From The Habit Of Gossip:
1. Confess it (I John 1:9)
2. Renounce it (II Corinthians 4:2)
3. Count yourself dead to it (Romans 6:2)

Quote: Chuck Swindoll (Hope Again)
“There’s a classic grave marker in jolly Old England that reads: ‘Beneath this sod, this lump of clay, lies Arabella Young, who, on the 24th of May, began to hold her tongue’.”

Quote: Dr. Ralph F. Wilson says, “Nimble tongues itch to tell a tale. Inquiring minds want to know. But the church’s health hinges on our willingness to submit our stories to His standard--peace in place of strife, building up exchanged for a wrecking ball. ‘Blessed are the peacemakers,’ Jesus taught, “for they will be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:9)

* Sometimes, because of our tongues, Christians look more like the death squads of Osama Bin Laden rather than the followers of Christ.

Ephesians 4:29-32.